More Things You’ll Never Hear In Western Colorado

There are some things you simply will never hear around here. Either because people don't think like that around here, or it simply doesn't apply, here's a list that can only get longer!

1. We should be more like Boulder.

That one, right there I can promise you, you won't ever hear that here! Try and imagine Grand Junction, or Delta or Montrose or any Western Slope city saying that!

2. Let's build more roundabouts.

Those things are so popular, I can see where we could be a string of communities all banded together by roundabouts. Think about it. No more stop lights anywhere, just good old roundabouts. No. No thank you.

3. We need more sunny days around here.

I can't imagine that one ever being spoken. Not aloud, at any rate.

4. My truck is too big.

So many things I could say about this one. I can't imagine anyone saying; "dangit, I made this thing too high." Or as drivers; "I wish there were more outrageously huge trucks around here."

5. I wish there were more license plates from California and Texas here.

You can almost count the number of times you wanted to say that, can't you? No, me either.

6. I wish more people would move here. It is an affordable place to live with infinite excellent employment opportunities.

Will everyone who has ever uttered those words please take one step forward?

7. Let's stop all of the drilling.

We have enough money from the employment opportunities afforded by drilling so let's just cut it out now, ok? Said no one. Ever. Not around here, anyway.

8. We have such excellent drivers on the Western Slope. And so friendly!

I didn't say that. Did you? I didn't think so.

9) Look! It's Raining.

I will admit to having said that one. I think three times this year.

10. I wish we had some decent hiking trails around here.

You could live here a hundred years and never hear that one.

What else will you never hear around here?