1-Star Yelp Review of Rocky Mountain National Park is Hilariously Perfect

With Rocky Mountain National Park in our own backyards, we sometimes forget how great it is, even with needing an entry reservation. On Yelper puts it into perspective for us, while trying to keep folks from coming.

You've seen those signs/t-shirts/bumper stickers that say, "Telluride Sucks, Go Home" or something to that extent. We've even done stories like 'Why You Shouldn't Come to Loveland This Summer;" this is like that, pointing out the great things while making them sound awful.

We recently came across those [pictures] that depict poor reviews of America's national parks; they are pretty funny. Rocky Mountain National Park was included, and I decided to dig a little deeper into "Colorado's" national park and it's reviews. A lot of people do not like the reservation system, nor that fact that you cannot bring your dogs. One user though, had a one-star review of the park, clearly in the effort to be funny, in a sarcastic kind of way.

Nic C. from San Francisco left his review a few years ago, so it does not deal with a reservation system, but it also doesn't mention dogs (maybe he doesn't have one.) His review is pretty brief (as compared to others) but it does get his point across, I think; that maybe the outdoors aren't for everybody.

Let's break down Nic's 1-star Yelp review of Rocky Mountain National Park:

First of all there's wildlife everywhere - who wants to run into a moose on the trail? What if it eats you?

 

 

Clearly, someone who chooses to enter Rocky Mountain Nation Park should be prepared to see/encounter the wildlife that lives there. Adding the "what if it eats you" part add just enough fear to the review to keep tourists away; all the better - more majesty for us.

Nic's 1-Star Review Continues

..the rangers are all way too friendly. It's like they're completely oblivious to all the suffering in the world.

 

NIc would make you think that persons entering Rocky Mountain National Park should expect surly, downtrodden rangers. Quite the contrary; RMNP Rangers will, if needed, be stern with those who are putting the wildlife, themselves or others in danger, but they are friendly. Why not? They have one of the greatest jobs around.

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Nic's 1-Star Yelp Review of Rocky Mountain National Park Involves Coffee

..there's not a single Starbucks on any of the trail heads.

Ha! Can you imagine seeing a Starbucks at a trailhead? Clearly Nic is mimicking what a "whiner" might say inside the park. You can always pack a thermos if you think you won't be able to go without some Starbucks that you can pick up in Estes Park.

Nic's 1-Star Yelp Review Takes a Shot at the Rocky Mountains

Finally, too many snow capped mountains. I like to see the horizon at all times. It calms me.

 

This one is really funny. How could you be surrounded by all that beauty of the Rock Mountains, themselves, and not feel calm?

Nice try, Nic, but I think even with your 1-star review, I think folks will still be wanting to visit Rocky Mountain National Park.

Read Nick C.'s review of Rocky Mountain National Park on Yelp